It doesn’t feel like a year has past. I still cannot fully comprehend the effects of my loss, and I don’t think I ever will. I’ve come to realize I’ll never be “over it”. I will always have sorrow in my heart, but that’s not to say I mope around all day.
My tears come in waves whether I want it to or not, and I often imagine a life with my dad still around. But as sorrow expands in my heart more than ever before, it makes space for God’s grace. Grace on myself, grace on others, and grace on the world.
But when I do run into the darkness of my pain and loss, I must remember this: just as the sun always rises after the darkest hour of the night, so does my hope and joy in God shine through in my despair.
As I chase the setting sun
my peace is fleeting.
But run to the darkness of the east,
And there I will find the rising sun.
“Here comes the sun…
and I say, it’s alright.”